Saturday, April 11, 2009

Going soft? Or just getting old?

For three and a half days, I was at the conference, among thousands of people, and rather busy. On the afternoon of the last day, I decided not to go out, in order to get some work done.

I found myself in a dingy, stuffy, smelly motel room, all by myself. Suddenly, I was overwhelmed by unbearable loneliness. Thousands of miles away from home and family, in a dingy motel room, faced with work that I do not particularly enjoy doing, I just couldn’t do it.

So I walked out into the sunshine. It was a bright, clear day, with white clouds floating in a deep blue sky - something rarely seen in Hong Kong. The neighbourhood consists of rows and rows of quaint but picturesque red-bricked apartments. My mood lifted a bit right away. I probably would not mind living here. But I don’t belong here, at least not without my family, loved ones and friends. Why am I doing here?

This does not usually happen to me. I often travel on duty alone, enjoying the freedom of movement. I can go where I want after work, and take as much time as I want to see interesting sights, to take interesting photographs. Somehow, this time, the loneliness would not go away completely. As much fun as whatever I was doing was, it just wasn’t as much fun when the people I care about were not there with me.

Am I going soft? Or just getting old? I could not decide.

But Boston was indeed beautiful on that day.


6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Cheer up god-father :)

Anonymous said...

Both. Good for you!

Just think of the scary alternative: Just getting old.

StephenC said...

Thank you all. To be honest with you, I was scared and almost panicked.

Anonymous said...

I think that the contrast of being completely alone, vs. the busyness of the previous few days, also had something to do with it...

StephenC said...

That's what I thought too. Still, for a while, I couldn't stand it.

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